420 ftw
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
