dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
he thought i was a dude.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
