I think i sorta joined a cult last night
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
