VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
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