At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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