shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
