So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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