Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Randomize
