This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
