Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize