who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
