It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
