The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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