The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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