drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize