Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
