So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
