What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize
