Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(434): View more from Virginia

ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl

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(816): View more from Missouri

If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.

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(503): View more from Oregon

I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.

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(804): View more from Virginia

Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.

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(469): View more from Texas

Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.

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(360): View more from Washington

What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven

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(979): View more from Texas

Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever

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