He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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