redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
