She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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