You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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