She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
He had one of those small greek statue penises
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
This is my gift to your gina
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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