I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
third nipple confirmed
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
