thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
