We named our party play list daddy issues
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
