Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Randomize
