if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
