What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
