he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
