C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
