Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
