morning after pill = breakfast in bed
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
