nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
