Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize