She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
If I had your ass I would rule the world
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
