i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
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