If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
