This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
