I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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