Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
