hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Randomize