Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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