All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
