new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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