the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
