so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
