No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
