You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I think my nap took me to another dimension
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
