The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
