real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
