Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
