yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
