No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
