Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
