hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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