did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Hippo gnu deer
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize