I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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