Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Sorry my hands just texted you
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
