We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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