We're like a lot better than the average bears
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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